“Pimps stay up, Ho’s stay down”
That was the final verdict given by ISKCON Grandmaster Mack Daddy Sivarama Swami in his recent foray into professin his straightup playa status.
When asked about this turn of events, Sivarama Mack Daddy declined to comment to Hare Krishna News. Luckily though one of his bitches condoned to speak with us, anonymously. When asked why she wanted to remain anonymous she said “Because I aint no fool. But you can call me Miss Pretty, thaz cuz Daddy he’s always saying how pretty I is, and how he wouldn’t want to have to cut a bitch if she aint be earnin her keep.”
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Hare Krishna News: So, what is this all about? We’ve heard that all “His Mackness” has done is to spell out what it means to be “a member of ISKCON,” yet this has caused some consternation amongst the Hare Krishna community. Why?
Ms. Pretty: It was hard for me at first also. But when I got used to it I started to like it. I mean a pimp gotsta keep his bitches in line. When he says “suck a dick ho” you know what you need to be doin. So everyone’s allll upset, thaz cuz they just aint used to being bitches.
Hare Krishna News: They’re not used to being told to “suck a dick?”
Ms. Pretty: Thaz all it is. They’s upset cuz they aint used to the pimp hand.
Hare Krishna News: The “pimp hand?”
Ms. Pretty: “Pimp hand” is what you lay down onto the bitches to keep ‘em in line.
Hare Krishna News: Could you be more specific?
Ms. Pretty: Your ability to control your hoes. Or da control of your pimpin business. A pimp hand can be strong or weak. How well a pimp can control his hoes is all about the pimp hand. Also, how well he can keep his hoes without another pimp with a stronger pimp hand coming and taking his hoes.
Hare Krishna News: What’s the pimp hand like exactly?
Ms. Pretty: One of the most dangerous hands of all. Purpose is to maintain order with hoes, friends, others. The pimp hand works by swingin the back of the hand into someones face to straighten dem out, to make ‘em ack right. This confident and respected hand is very powerful.
Hare Krishna News: Some people are saying the rules are too restrictive and seem to be all about consolidating control over members of ISKCON by the elite?
Ms. Pretty: Daz why Daddy said everybody gotta suck a dick if they want to be a member of ISKCON. Look, everyone know there’s lots of other Macks lookin to get their pimpin on, looking to turn stables of bitches out. So Daddy, he’s just saying to the other playas: “Yo, I got me a strong ass pimp hand up in here playa, the new rules for my bitches is what they is — suck a dick — or get smacked upside the head — or you can leave.”
Hare Krishna News: I guess that’s a pretty straightforward way of putting it?
Ms. Pretty: Well, a pimp don’t get paid for screwin. He gets his pay from always having the right thing to say to his females. A pimp with sense never lets a female go who still has some trick in her, should be prince charming to the females. A pimp should control the whole female, be the boss of her life, even her thoughts. They should think you’re GOD!!! Pimps needs to remember…there isn’t a female you can’t do without, and pimping isn’t a game of love. Your women should fear you.
Hare Krishna News: Well I guess that sums up Grandmaster Mack Daddy Sivarama Swami’s ideas on ISKCON membership. Although at first it seems quite hard, it’s really quite nice and soft isn’t it?
Ms. Pretty: Suck a dick and be his bitch, how much easier can it be?
Hare Krishna News: Thank you very much Ms. Pretty.
Well, it obviously gets worse and worse. No wonder ISKCON is shrinking. First they kicked out most of Prabhupada´s disciples. Now, some self-made “guru” is blaming those who were kicked out of Prabhupada´s movement, they “they have descided not to become members”!
We can only be sure about one thing: that whatever Sivarama Swami proposes is for the purpose of strengthening his own position.
What Sivarama Swami is putting forth is the idea that he wants ISKCON to be comprised of people who are 100% submissive to ISKCON leaders, and who think and act with no deviation from the rulings and ideology they put forth. Why?
Simple really. ISKCON is more or less all about one thing — a vehicle for exploitation by the gurus. Exploitation of what? Of as many people for as much as they can get. I don’t just mean surrendered temple devotees, the big money is from outside donations coming from wealthy disciples and well-wishers.
Sivarama and others like him have realized that they need a codified conception of who, and more importantly who is not, a member in good standing of ISKCON. One reason for that is because they want to make it easier to disregard people who want to be gurus, and they want to make it easier to dethrone many current gurus.
The more gurus there are the less money there is to go around. Anyone who has ever been a leader or hung out with leaders of ISKCON knows that most of them display one face to people they are not close friends with, and have a different personality when they are with their friends.
Sometimes they aren’t very careful to hide their real personality and they get exposed by enemies or zealots for engaging in varieties of “sense gratification,” sexual dalliances, embezzlement, etc. So many gurus have been forced to step down because they weren’t careful to hide their real personality. Like Suhotra, Bhavananda, Ramesvara, Jayatirtha, Hansadutta, Satsvarupa, and on and on. It’s not like the fallen gurus were different than most of the others, they were just caught. Leaders of ISKCON know this to be the true situation with each other.
So, if you want to get rid of gurus or stop more devotees from becoming gurus — it’s in your interest if you’re a big influential guru to have as many ways to stop them as you can.
The divorce thing Sivarama brought up is a good plan to put the kibosh on potential gurus. It’s rare for grihastas in ISKCON to have not gone through a divorce. If divorce is not allowed in ISKCON, than how can they allow people who were divorced to become gurus?
If you must strictly always follow all the rules and regulations Prabhupada taught in order to be considered a member of ISKCON, than how can they allow someone to be a guru if you can get a few people to claim that the potential guru didn’t always follow every single rule and regulation to perfection — that he was seen watching television, or listening to the radio, or going to a movie, or reading a book or visiting a temple of a guru outside of ISKCON, or associating closely with women outside of family members, or not going to every morning program all of the time, or any other rule or regulation you can possibly think of.
Another purpose of Sivarama’s plan is to frighten the full-time devotees into being ever more submissive to the big gurus. No more Mr. Nice Guru. If you want the protection of ISKCON law you had better not ever be seen to have deviated in anyway from all the rules and regulations of ISKCON. If you have, than according to Sivarama you are not a member of ISKCON, and therefore not given any rights of redress. And even if you haven’t missed any morning programs or been caught going to a movie or read a book or visited a temple of an outside guru, it’s going to be your word against whomever the guru can get to lie for him — like his sycophant disciples.
I don´t quite understand the logic of a few things you propose here. First you say “they” want to get rid of as many gurus as possible. Who are “they”? Does it refer to Sivarama alone, or someone else in particular too?
Then you say that Sivarama has a plan to make full-time devotees frightened of “the big gurus”. Who are these “the big gurus”? Didn´t you just say he wants to get rid of “many current gurus?
Do you think he wants to become the one and only big guru, like a new Tamala Krishna Goswami maybe?
It wouldn´t surprise me. I just don´t understand what you actually suspect here. Please elaborate.
The criteria for membership, as now proposed by Sivarama, is nothing new, except for the “no divorce” and “donate 10% of income”. Devotees must already follow principles in order to be initiated, or to be member of a board, or do certain services etc. Gurus have agreed to certain principles before becoming gurus. So rules are already there. And as you say, everyone is accepted as a member until they are exposed. This means that the whole membership topic is a farse. Because even if you would be accepted as a member according to Sivaramas criteria, you can still do the same duplicity and double-play as before. Just pay attention so that you will not be exposed! And what is keeping anyone from exposing Sivarama? Is he a pure saint himself? He seems to think so, since he can address this topic “somewhere above”…
Marichi
“They” are the big gurus, the ones with lots of disciples and power. I believe the making of very set rules on who and who is not a member serves an agenda to consolidate power. There may be rules in place already, but these new rules specifically spell out who is not a member of ISKCON. Whereas now the rules just say you can be punished for transgressing the rules, what Sivarama is proposing is making it that you are not a member of ISKCON if you break the rules.
There are close to a hundred gurus and there is a movement by many devotees, including the “sastric advisory committee” to allow anyone to be a guru. Whereas others want to restrict the making of new gurus, and even deplete the number they have now because it lessens their own influence and income making potential. I can’t prove that, but it’s standard business practice to try to corner the market by eliminating competition, e.g. buyouts, pricing wars, false advertising, etc. I believe most of the gurus who gain a lot of followers and are making lots of money end up seeing themselves as a business with a product to sell — themselves, gurus. They start to enjoy the wealth and privilege of being a guru and due to the nature of wealth and privilege on greedy people — they will want more and more. It makes sense that they would try to find a way to limit the ability of others to be gurus, and it makes sense they would try to make rules whereby they can assert their power more easily over the common people, especially those who would challenge them — like their own godbrothers.
Thanks, I understand and agree, this theory is very likely. Best would be if they dropped the whole guru business and returned to Prabhupada´s instructions. Prabhupada never said that GBC is a “spiritual authority for everyone in ISKCON” (something which Sivarama now is saying).
The thing I cannot understand, is how they can try to separate the gurus from the GBC, when the GBC has so many members who are gurus themselves. There must be conflicts of interest; thus corruption.
this sexist skit was my reality in an ISKCON ashram. Have any other women had this experince?