Devi’s Corner

Goddesses show their stuff:

I'll hold the universe up, and make your planets collide

You should see video below:

Pimps Up, Ho’s Down

“Pimps stay up, Ho’s stay down”

That was the final verdict given by ISKCON Grandmaster Mack Daddy Sivarama Swami in his recent foray into professin his straightup playa status.

When asked about this turn of events, Sivarama Mack Daddy declined to comment to Hare Krishna News. Luckily though one of his bitches condoned to speak with us, anonymously. When asked why she wanted to remain anonymous she said “Because I aint no fool. But you can call me Miss Pretty, thaz cuz Daddy he’s always saying how pretty I is, and how he wouldn’t want to have to cut a bitch if she aint be earnin her keep.”

Breaking news: Hare Krishna guru too average looking

Proud to bring you the crazy since 2005

Hare Krishna news tabloid the Sampradaya Sun has recently come out with a series of exposes on the shocking life of ISKCON guru Hridayananda das Goswami aka Dr. Howard J. Resnick (links below). According to the Sun’s reporters, the swami is wearing ordinary “karmi clothes” sometimes, and is not even wearing the sacred string around his shoulder or his wooden neck beads at times as well!

As inconsequential as this may sound to a normal person, to the Hare Krishnas at the Sampradaya Sun it is nothing less than a sign of the apocalypse. Unless you wear traditional Hindu Indian attire all of the time — you are clearly spiritually devolved, and even more clearly — you shouldn’t be accepted as any kind of authority on Hare Krishna. That makes perfect sense. After all “the clothes make the man,” and everyone should “judge a book by it’s cover.” These are spiritual principles advocated by the founder-acharya of ISKCON, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. In the following talk from July 1975, His Divine Grace reiterates his Divine Principles on the importance of external appearances.

Devi’s Corner

Goddesses show their stuff:

Being good isn't always easy. No matter how hard I try

You should see video below:

Sense and Nonsensibility

Theal Mytee at her meeting with Swami Tripurari and his aides

People’s Correspondent for the Hare Krishna News, Theal Mytee, has filed the following report from the Department of Heuristics and Research on Material Applications, where she has been preparing a report for the Cacophony Society on Project Mayhem. Luckily for us she had time in her busy schedule to warn us about the dangers of the newly discovered H1N1 swine flu.

Previously it was thought to only cause ordinary but severe swine symptoms, now it appears to have an unexpected secondary effect which has raised great alarm within the psycho-logical community. Apparently, for some people with the proper genetic disposition (susceptible to the PRab, HUp, aDA, blockers) HIN1 can cause an advanced case of senility — even amongst relatively young people.

Earlier in the year whilst preparing for her volunteer work as a guide at the regionals for the National Snipe Hunters annual Tour de Farce, for inner city youth in the Perennial Mountains, Ms. Mytee had overheard a rumor concerning the Grand Poobah of the Loyal Order of Dinosaurs, Lord High Admiral of The Hare Club for Men, and Grand Exalted Periwinkle of the Mystic Order of Whelks and Ammonites — His Most Revered Highness Sripadinski Swami Tripurari Maharaja. It was feared by some that the great man himself was exhibiting signs of senility.

Fearing the worst, Theal contacted the Swami at his mountain lair in Northern California. What follows is a word for word transcript of their conversation (with a few interjections from the Swami’s aides) wherein Theal Mytee tries to determine the extent or progression of the deterioration of the Grand Poobah’s mental health.